Eddie Hemmings is a cult

My good friend, Mr Protheroe was once a big cheese in the Lancashire pickle industry. Now he earns big bucks as a Keith Chegwin look - a - like. He works for a leading 'doubles' agency and yesterday he told me something very interesting. The top 5 requests for look a likes are:

1. Barak Obama


2. Angelina Jolie


3. Paris Hilton


4. Eddie Hemmings


5. Christian Bale

Apparently there are weekly "Eddie" parties where people pay homage to the silky skills of Britain's leading sport broadcaster. They will watch old Sky games - not the least bit interested in the actual game - and cheer at Eddie's familiar phrases. The favourite being the repeating of a player's name as he attempts to score. As he scores the second half of the name is 'shouted' with a higher vocal inflection.....Sinfield..SinFIELD! At the fancy parties they hire short 'baldies' as waiters. All are called 'Stevo' and it is customary to slap them on the head (Benny Hill style) for no apparent reason.

I once bumped into Eddie as he left Lidl. He was carrying 48 cans of cider and a small scotch egg. I told him I thought he was a great entertainer. He put down his purchases and started to do an impromptu charleston while holding out a hand for small change. I gave him 50p and he seemed genuinely pleased.

On reflection I suspect it was not the Eddie Hemmings.