John Kear's fingers and hips

At the back end of last season I found myself fixating on John Kear's fingers. One game was held up as Steve Ganson needed time to finish a pie. I could see JK's fingers undulating and rapping non stop. A couple of weeks later Trinity were on Sky and there were several close ups on Kear's fingers. We played these back a few times. Mother was convinced that that he was fingering a piece by Rachmaninov. However Mrs McGillycuddy said it was morse code and it was repeating....."My hip is giving me gip".

We now know that Mrs McGillycuddy was correct.

Recently JK has had a hip operation. My 'spies' tell me this is because he is being lined up for Strictly Come Dancing. They like RL people on this type of programme with Offiah and Hanley already dancing and skating. Mr Pew, my chaperone, was convinced that next we would see Garry Schofield on a reality show like Love island. However John Kear seems to be the man.
The thought of seeing JK and Kristina Rihanoff doing a Tango is mouth watering. At Chez Spoonfinger we would be cramped around our 14" portable TV hours before the programme even started. There would be pots full of hot Yorkshire tea and cheesy scones aplenty. Mother would probably knock up some 'Year of the Kear' t shirts. Mr Pew, my chaperone, would start one of his legendary marketing campaigns encouraging people to vote for JK. I can see the placard now:

"Vote for John Kear. He is a nice chap and he probably needs the money!"

What a coup it would be for rugby league in wakefield if JK could win.

Is there nothing that man cannot do? As he is an innovator in the game it would not be long before Anton du Beke is working with Ricky Bibey on his footwork. Marvellous.